finally Happy to ask for help when I need it … ;)

I am writing this from Kenya today. I am here on a workshop with one of our Clients, staying at the beautiful Sankara Hotel in Nairobi, so spoilt!  I am travelling quite a bit at the moment for work, and that means less time for me to do my stuff, and things, and such … it also means I need to be super organized, and get my s**t together so I don’t feel panicked!  For travelling, but also for home, and work, and just in life, in general.
And with that comes the big thing of having to ask for help, and I am so bad at this!
I was brought up to be independent, and I love being independent … so please don’t get me wrong, I am in no way grumbling about being brought up this way.  I love it and embrace it! My independence is what makes me what I am. And I am proud of it!
And I know that my independence has also been a huge contributing factor to my career, and how I have succeeded.
I love that I do things for myself, I love that I can make my decisions, I love that I respect myself enough to make my decisions.
I just love being independent.
But, what comes with that is ‘the flip side of the coin” … how do I ask for help when I need it?
I have really had to get my head around this over the last few months, whether that was at work, with Andy, from my mom, all kinds of places … lots has come up and I have had to step out of my comfort zone, and ask! It has been traumatic, and I am not trying to be overly dramatic by saying that … literally I get more angst at asking for help than being overwhelmed by having to much on.
My challenge starts with the fact that I have become so accustomed to doing everything for myself, that the thought of asking for help makes me feel like I have failed … what has happened that I cannot do this myself … what have I done?
I then try (for days sometimes) to motivate to myself that I can actually just work it out, or sort it out myself. No need for anyone else … but over these last few months the universe has put “challenges” in my life that I cannot solve myself.  I have had to ask …
Some of the instances took me weeks to ask, my internal battle was so huge that I actually felt sick about it, but once I did ask … I felt so good.
I felt good because the weight was lifted off my shoulders, but mostly because I felt like I was not alone.
And once I had asked a few times, I felt less and less alone, I realised how important it was to ME. It didn’t change how independent I was or am, it just made me a little more human, and part of a relationship.
I have no funny words or phrases to remind myself how to ask for help (unfortunately) … but I remember the feeling of feeling safer in the fact that I don’t have to do everything alone, and I don’t have to be alone …

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